The Holy Grail

So I finally went and saw Jackass 3D today... Can I say... WHOLLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! It was way better then I could have hoped or dreamed for... It was hot... Hot... HOT! I know its not every ones... cup of tea.. but for me, *sigh* every time I watch it, even on tv... I get wet and HOT! Only downside.. Here I am home.. ALONE and not anyone.. to take this all out on!! FAWK!

I was shocked and happy for all the dick shots and nastiness that there was... Bam pissing on everyone.. and the stuff in 3D.. man, it couldn't have gotten any better! Seriously, I only almost puked.. once... a new one for me! And something is soooo SEXY about how these boys, MEN abuse themselves and then laugh at themselves.. how they set each other up to be humiliated and torchered... over and over again... One of the highlights was them trying to make Bam cry... my heart, skipped a beat..

Now, I just have to fina a man who can appreciate what Jackass really has to offer and understand just how and what it means to ME!

Sooo

Today started out a great day... and somehow just kept getting better.....

Work was steady.. I actually got to shave down an entire dog today on my own... My Boss said I did a great job and joked I was ready to go on to school today! LOL I know that I'm not but, it's nice to see she gets I'm serious about this and also taking it very seriously...

I sent the man I am considering an email about the blog post I did about him... He was extremely pleased that I took time to write about him and that I am already pleased with him... It is such a change to have someone appreciate that I am giving them praise and not ignoring it. We have very open and honest dialog and it's very refreshing.... It gives me hope that even if this doesn't work out, there are QUALITY men out there.. D/s, vanilla or whatever capacity I am looking for.

I found out I may have a bonus day off next week.... Now not that is so great, as in I lose money when I don't work... but, its great to know I have that coming up and wondering what fun things I can plan to do with it.

I also decided since I can't seem to find anyone to go with me to see Jackass 3D at the midnight showing Thursday night, I just may go by myself. Hell, I know there will be a lot of men there... and who knows what could happen!

An Open Letter

Now that I am looking at prospective men... I have realized that maybe MY profile ( I have one on some sites... ask me I'll tell you where to find them) just isn't clear enough about what I want.... I am going to use this forum... as a way to state it plainly....

1.When contacting ME, please send something thorough and complete. I do not want to have to drag answers out of you... It's beyond boring and time consuming for ME.
2.If you garner MY attention, be prepared to answer questions truthfully and with honest answers... I DON'T DO BULLSHIT!
3.I understand that you may tremble at the first touch of ME but, please I am not a monster... nothing to be scared of!
4.If you say you will do something... DO IT! I don't like being kept waiting or having to constantly find out what is going on...
5.I DO NOT CHASE ANYONE... PERIOD!!!
6.If I meet you, and you decide you aren't interested... SAY SO!
7.I am not like most Woman, Domme, Mistress, Goddess... I will give you a voice... USE IT!
8.I am looking for a well rounded person... If you aren't one, please don't pretend to be so..
9.My time is valuable... since I don't have much to waste... DON'T WASTE IT!
10.I DO NOT LIKE TO BE IGNORED!
11.Communication, COMmunication... COMMUNICATION!
12.Remember, that to be with ME, requires... you to be flexible... Look up the meaning if you don't know what it means!
13.Attention... I like... I expect it... No EXCEPTIONS!
14.Service... It's required...
15.If you have any questions about any of these... ASK ME! Really, it's ok to do that!

So, I hope I have made myself clear... Also, I love proper spelling.. Be warned, that I do answer a lot of email via my phone... Which makes it hard to do spell check. If you are doing the same... TELL ME!

Donnie and the Cigar....

So, tonight on Blue Bloods, my man Donnie had a cigar in his mouth in the final scene.... and the cheesey grin of his... and that twinkle in his eyes... It was/is almost to much for me to handle!

I have a fantasy.... that I doubt I could ever get him to do for me... It involves Donnie, a Cigar, backwards hat and him enjoying the best head I have ever given...

Now, I have approached this subject with many a man vanilla or sub to fulfill this for me... as of today.. NONE HAVE! Really? Is it that hard to indulge me with one fantasy I have.. When did it become so taboo for a woman to want to give a man head while he enjoys a nice cigar and has a smile on his face... WTF am I always lingering on this damn fantasy!

True words of Wisdom....

LOVE, COURAGE, TRUTH.. don't be afraid to LOVE yourself, have the COURAGE to live your life your way, and never be afraid to speak the TRUTH.

A friend of mine posted this as their status on FB. I can't even begin to think of just how much this needs to hit home with soooo many people in this world....

2 for the price of ONE!

So, my man Donnie tweeted this earlier today.....

Today... Do not live in fear of your own potential! Embrace it! Be nothing less than YOUR best! Fear of our own inadequacies breeds hate!

As always it got me to thinking... Why do we all beat ourselves up over shit that isn't real? Why are we always our own worst enemy? Why is it always his tweets about fear, get me worked up?!!

Now... on to the other blog....

As I have stated, I still talk to my ex sub. Tonight, we are in the mitts of a text conversation that I can only hope he is really taking to heart. He of anyone I know needs to really hear what he is saying.. what I'm saying... and start living it.

Life is to damn short to keep up a front to please society that doesn't care one way or the other... My only wish for him is to figure it all out and find that true happiness he wants in his life... He deserves it, we all deserve it!

Ahhhh

So as of today, I still need my locks changed... still need my curtains hung... still need dishes washed.... and still need a REAL QUALITY SUB!

WTF! Where are all these men of quality? I live in a big metro area that has a huge scene... but funny thing, there are way to many FAKES! I hate FAKES... HATE THEM! And I'm not talking about just sub men... I'm talking about friends and people in general. When did it become OK to be FAKE! Did I miss the memo that people want or should I say prefer to be lied to and deceived? Who raises a child to think this is how you get ahead in life? How you win friends and influence people? Just... WHO DOES THAT?

Oh, and might I add... with all the crazy hours I'm working... and going to be working very soon.. I NEED A DOG WALKER!

Brutal Honesty

This week, I will be meeting up with my former male sub.... I hope he is prepared for some of my brutal honesty... We have decided to still remain friends, and as any of my close friends can tell you, they always... ALWAYS get the truth from me... whether they like it or not. He probably won't like very much what I have to say... In fact, I'm prepared that we may never speak again after that this meeting.

See, friends I have.... TRUE FRIENDS have certain boundaries that I expect to be respected.... those include.... coming over at a decent hour unless it's an emergency or something earth shattering.... they don't come over late at night to "hang out". That time is reserved for FWB, subs, or someone I am fucking... Yes, I give them a bit lee way because of the nature of the relationship... Friends, they are there for you thru thick and thin, they love you unconditionally, they respect you, they genuinely care about YOU! Now, FWB and the such.... they have a different set of rules... one of which is they are always required to come baring gifts and prepared to do some service for me... even if it is just taking out the garbage or walking my dogs. Funny, I have a man, who is a FWB/sub and the first thing he ever does is offer to walk the dogs for me... and when he is leaving... he walks them again. I have never asked him too... he just does it. Seems, he knows his place and what he is required to do. Ironic isn't it, that someone I see so casually GETS HIS ROLE! Hell, even vanilla men who I see in a casual capacity do service....

Now, as for said ex sub, he never did service... EVER! We discussed it and the one thing he was supposed to do for me, he never has because I couldn't work it into HIS schedule... Oh yeah, that schedule where he has to go be submissive for his best friend and best friends "wife".... you know cutting their grass, taking care of their dogs, pretty much whatever SHE deemed he needed to do in a very vanilla capacity... Nothing is sadder then putting yourself in a place where you have made it so you can NEVER HAVE A LIFE.... See, said ex sub doesn't get that.... He will never find happiness... that TRUE HAPPINESS he thinks he wants... because at his core, I don't think he wants it. He is happy being a martyr and only having someone he can fuck in a very vanilla capacity once or twice a month... someone who is very married who doesn't expect or want anything from him.. because that is easier then... taking a chance, putting yourself out there, maybe having to actually alter your life just a bit to spend time with someone and make some sort of a life. You would think that someone can only spend so much time and energy being the martyr.... hating themselves so much they can't imagine how someone... anyone could like them for who they truly are.... so they play a game and hide it... I've seen people like that pass through my life, its sad really because they always end up alone,bitter and so unhappy in the end

There is only one man I'd wear this for....

The shirt says it all.....

I am not at all submissive by any meaning of the term but, it's funny that in wearing something like this, people would veiw me as such... also it could be seen as a statement in being owned... sadly, that will never be me... Hmmm I wonder if I should get something like this made up for a special man some day....