Surprises everywhere

Tonight I talked on the phone to a man who I met via a mutual friend. We have been talking via text for a few days and tonight we finally had a nice lengthy phone conversation.... It was both good and refreshing... He gets me and that doesn't happen... NEVER HAPPENS! I am both hopeful and excited at if he will be the next chapter in my life....

Rain

Here I sit knowing I have to be at work at 10am in the morning... and all I can think about is the rain outside. Rain, it never held such meaning as it now does. It has become a symbol for me as of late... a symbol I have come to cherish... a symbol I've come to need... a symbol I could one day love....

Rain

As I watch the drops fall gently on the ground...
I think about the cleansing and rebirth of my soul,
of my life,
of the love that I have inside of me that yearns to be shared.

As I watch the drops splash in the puddles...
I dream about the day my soul was set free,
the want and need I have inside of me,
the fulfillment of dreams I've yet to realize.

As I feel the rain touch my skin...
I feel the heat and warmth of my lovers touch,
the wetness that they create in places only they can touch,

We all need to remember this....

Pearls of wisdom from my man Donnie!

Today... Some days it will take all you can muster to make it another moment. Whatever happens... Find a way to make it to the next moment.

I saw this and actually sighed today.... Funny how people seem to miss those moments, the special ones, the ones that get your through the bad times... I'm not talking about big moments... like the birth f a child.... your wedding day... the day you first sad I Love You to your lover...

I'm talking about the ones some people miss... like the sound of someone you care for snoring quietly next to you... how gentle they are when they touch your face... the glint in your subs eyes when you are mid play and you command they look you in the eye... Those are the moments that mean the most to me, those special moments that only two people can share...

Control

My man Donnie tweeted this out to the masses this morning...

Today- if you try to control the things in life that you can't control, you will lose control of the one thing in life you can control- YOU!

As his tweets often do, this brought to mind me thinking....

What exactly is the control one has over themselves?

Now, I know that in a D/s, M/s relationship, that each person is exerting control in their actions or reactions or the fact that they have put themselves in that situation at all. I'm talking about the things you can't control.. like caring about someone.. you know that point where you loose control and get all silly goofy in love with someone. We've all done it.. Hell for some of us it worked out and we have never been happier and are still that way... Maybe as I'm getting older and wiser, I'm realizing that kind of control lose just isn't for me. I don't know that I want to ever be that kind of silly hearted fool for someone to be able to crush at their whim.... to be able to take and have the upper hand...

I prefer the upper hand... I prefer to control my emotions or how I feel about someone... I prefer to control when or if I ever let someone know I really do care for them... I don't loose that kind of control anymore... Sadly, I don't know if I have ever lost that kind of control... I have never been viewed as the silly all in love school girl and, lets be honest here, I don't ever want to be...

Life changes...

So a quick update... No baby, career change, and now going through a divorce! Yep, a lot has been happening in my world.... I've also been a bad blogger and posting somewhere else, I plan to transfer some, not all of the posts from the other site little by little..

What really matters....

Having a text convo with my good friend and it hit me... Something that seems to be lost on so many people in the world.... With all the changes I have been going thru this last 18 months, what it is that really matters in this world...

I was married to a man who thought that what mattered were things... possessions... that was something we could never agree on. I have always known what matters and what doesn't.....

Now, that I am embarking on life again as a single woman, it appalls me that so many people... and men at that, have no clue about what really matters in this world. They play games, create drama and basically act like a bunch of spoiled over privileged children. They think that submission is something you can turn on and off at whim.... they think that any Domme or woman for that matter who is truly worth anything, will just put up with their shit. They think they are the only cock in town.... they think that we should all thank our lucky stars to have them.... Truth be told, they aren't... they have no value in this world or any world to any woman of quality... Because, lets be honest here, what woman... REAL WOMAN... wants some man who is full of shit... who can't stand behind their word... who thinks playing games and being less then a man is worth having... who wants a man who is so broken he has no idea how to even... BE A MAN!

I want a man, submissive or not who understands whats really important in life... One who understand that possessions and stuff is just that... STUFF

I want someone... ANYONE who gets that its the connections, the REAL CONNECTIONS you make with other people that matter most in this world... That someday, a day that none of us will know, we won't be here any longer to share the gift of ourselves with others.... Need it be the gift of being a real true friend, a lover, a confidant... or the gift of submission....