I never seem to find what I'm looking for.

Cultural Shift

2011-08-27T13:45:00.002-05:00

I write about so many things... mostly about my search and what not. Today I think it's time to change it up!

I have been thinking about this a lot today. What brought it to mind is what I have been thinking about lately and then also being contacted by someone I played with a few times in the past.

He is a man who is very submissive who choose to start a relationship with a very vanilla woman in hope of getting her into BDSM. Now, I can understand the allure of this but, in the same respect, it can also be something that can very much back fire. Not sure why he contacted me the last couple of days. He claims that everything is great and she is starting to warm up to very small light things but, he is afraid to approach the things he loves. See, he is into areas that aren't for the faint of heart.

It brought me to thinking about some stuff... last time he contacted me, she was out of town. So, that tells me when she isn't around he is trolling on the internet for attention? Something to jerk off too? Maybe someone to come use him like he craves?

Ah, again it soo fits this topic....

When did the cultural shift happen that lieing,deceit, and cheating are all acceptable?

I guess I missed the memo on it. Maybe it happened while I was married. Maybe it is just what happens with all the instant gratification that is available now. Maybe, just maybe it has always been here and I never saw it.

What happened to the days that your lover was away and you just waited for them to come home?

What happened to actually getting to know someone before you are already looking seriously for someone else?

What happened to integrity and honesty and truth and loyalty?

Just, what happened to all those things that make some worthy of you giving your heart, soul, body and mind too?

To many people, think that time is on their side. They feel they have an endless amount to find that perfect person who is everything they want wrapped up in the package they want. The eternal 29yr old hottie with a banging bod who has the wisdom of someone twice their age. Sadly, this isn't a reality. Hell, it isn't even a realistic fantasy.

See, with experience come wisdom.. time gives one that ability if they are given the time to gain it. Some don't have the luxury of time. Some don't realize that time is a fleeting thing. Something that once it is gone, you can never get back.

One never knows when their time is up! I never understand waiting and wishing and hoping that tomorrow they will be ready... That tomorrow they will have the time... See, sometimes tomorrow never comes because today was your last day on this earth!

Blogging...

2011-08-16T01:24:00.002-05:00

I blog here.. Not to often...

I blog somewhere else... at least 3 times a week!

Now, you may ask, Why do I blog somewhere else more often? It's because there I can be free to be ME! I don't have to worry about people seeing or reading things I choose not to share with the world. And, let's just be plain honest... There I have readers who comment and share things with me... Here, Not so much!

Friends?

2011-03-08T14:51:00.001-06:00

In RT I have friends. I have what some may think is a huge circle of friends... In reality, that circle is much smaller then most would believe. Yes, I have a lot of people that I know. Some I have known for more years then I can count, others, not so long. One thing is for sure. The people who truly matter in my life, can always figure out a way to keep in touch and see me.

In the last yr or so, I went and am still going through so many changes in my life. Divorce, job loss, financial issues beyond belief... More crap then one person should really have to deal with. Death of dreams you can't even fathom... Its sad really that anyone needs to go through this.... That I had to go through this...

Now, I'm not whining, please don't get me wrong but, it showed me just who my real friends are. And hence why my circle has become sooo painfully small. Now, the people who are on the outside of the circle, are still technically "friends" but in my mind, they are more acquaintances now. I can't nor will I spend time and energy on people like that. People who shown me, that in my time of need, they couldn't really be there for me. Even in the most passive way, a phone call, text messages, or emails. Those people are the ones I truly feel sorry for. They are the ones who don't realize just the kind of friend I really was and just what they have passed up on. They have missed out on so much good times with me that far out weighed the few times I could have really used just their ear to listen. Just 15 minutes out of their day to LISTEN!

We all only have a short time on this earth to touch a persons life.... To make a positive difference! Some people just don't nor will they see the big picture that is LIFE! And that big picture is to be shared and enjoyed with others.. the good, the bad, the ugly...

I adore you....

2011-03-08T10:22:00.000-06:00

Three words... Three simple words... Words that separately mean nothing but, when put together by the right person. Can speak VOLUMES to ones soul...

I saw those words yesterday. And I saw them for the first time in my life. I saw them from someone so young who surprised me he knew those words... surprised me he was so comfortable saying those words... And the best part, was he said them to me... *sigh*

I get that to many, those words wouldn't mean anything. After all they are just words. Now, imagine being.. almost 41 and realizing that in all of your life, no one had ever said those words to you. I'll admit it, I was shocked, surprised and expressed all that to him. His response, " I find it hard to believe that nobody has ever vocalized their infatuation for you like I have." I explained to him that many people think that showing emotion is a sign of weakness...

I can say, that his level of openness and honesty is so very refreshing. He has some wisdom and knowledge that is well beyond his 23 yrs. I don't know if it is just he still isn't all jaded from life that his heart is still pure. Whatever it is, it is just what I have needed, I craved, and have been missing for such a very long time....

Choices and Inadequacy

2011-03-02T10:31:00.000-06:00

So I have been doing a lot of reading lately, blogs, message board posts, comments, emails, FB status, tweets... Now, not something I don't normally do but, I'm looking at things a bit differently as of late. Maybe it's because there is someone new with promise... Maybe it's because I have changed... Maybe I've grown again... Not sure what it is but, it's happened. And what am I taking out of all of this... Well, that everyone... and I mean EVERYONE makes their own CHOICES or at least they want you to think they do. To many people do truly live their lives based on what others think, feel and tell them they should.

I have NEVER done this. I have always done things as I saw fit. Lived how I felt worked for ME. Said what I felt in my heart was right for ME! I have never been a lemming to the fire type. In fact, I have at times chosen to take the less traveled path because I felt I'd learn more that way.

What I had never encountered until this time in my life is clearly being told I'm not adequate enough for things that may or may not be in my control....

You aren't a suitable person to date because I have children and you could never be a good mom because you don't have any.
REALLY? And people always think that is a choice that I have made based on what? Because I don't have any? Because they think I'm selfish? Lets just say, it's because they don't KNOW ME!

I can't be involved with you because you have dogs. WOW! So I have pets... Doesn't that show I am capable of loving and caring for something other then myself. That I'm not selfish. Or does it mean that I'd have to make arrangements and can't just run away at your whim.

Your just not what I see or pictured a Domme/Mistress to be.
WOW! And this is based in what? Fantasy? Pro's? Wannabees?

I could go on and on... the list would never end. What I often wonder is, why do people always project on others their own inadequacies instead of dealing with what needs to be fixed within themselves.

Listen, no one is perfect, EVERYONE has flaws... But sometime in the recent history it has become easier for people to point fingers at others then to take personal responsibility for their thoughts, feelings and actions. It has become common place to be shallow, unfeeling, rude and just down right ignorant. There used to be a time, when you would never dream of personally attacking someone based on things that just were surface level. Now it has become common place and acceptable behavior. What happened to compassion, couth, tactic and CLASS? What happened to the days where people actually felt those things mattered in this world?

Maybe its the lack of human contact most people have. They are able to live in a fantasy world of on line where they can find people to continually boost their ego and censor what they don't want to hear... What they don't want to believe... What doesn't fit into how they want their life to look to them...
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Ah, a nice Sunday night date!

2011-01-31T02:12:00.000-06:00

So here I sit in the after glow of going out again with a gentleman I have been seeing as of late. He is new to all of this but, wants it soo bad. Tonight was the first time we actually played. It was wonderful and fantastic!! He trusted me with telling me something very personal to him and I'm soo happy he did. I hope that was just a good sign in the promise of more things to come. He really is a great guy and someone that I could see myself having in my life. He has been proving that he wasn't us to have a vanilla life in as much as a BDSM life. It's going to take sometime for us to get the dance right but, with time and patients on both our parts, I think we can figure it out!

Promise always makes me hopeful... and if it doesn't work out, I know that there is someone I can find out there for me... For once, I can really see it being a possibility!

Why do I have to be so smart sometimes?

2011-01-19T00:19:00.001-06:00

So, tonight as I was lurking on another site, I saw something that had a familar look to it. I dug deeper into what I saw.. and low and behold if it isn't another profile for the man I had been seeing for like 6 months. I was LOLing because it was kind of funny. Just shows more and more how he so wasn't worth my time.

More and more, I tend to run into that. It's sad really. I'd like to think that the gene pool would have produced a better quality then I seem to keep running into. The longer I am single, the more and more I keep being sadden to think of all the women out there who can and do get taken advantage of, made fools of, and just in general think that being treated like SHIT is ok.

I'm thinking I need to find out if I can teach a class in.. Smelling bullshit from 20 feet. How to avoid men who are douchebags!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T21:27:00.002-06:00

So, it's been a long while since I last blogged... Not to much to say, status quo for me.

Same chit different day....
Men and the games they play....

Blah, blah, blah....

I've had it! I'm about done with all of it.. The lies, deception, the crap.

The I want a Mistress but, I can't make time for you....
I'm having a bad, hour, day, week... I can't see be around anyone right now....

Blah, blah, blah...

I think they all forget who is in control. Who makes the decision... If I say jump, I'm not asking can you.. I'm saying JUMP!

Now, I get it's a crazy time of the year for everyone but, seriously... You earn things from me....

When I give you my cell number, you can't just drop off a convo via text. Um, who is in control? That seems to be lost on submissive men I see. To many things seem to be lost on submissive men... And those things are adding up for me. Making me think twice about it all over again. I forgot why I walked away from all of this all those years ago. Funny, it's taken 1 yr for me to be reminded....

This explains a lot about me!

2010-12-02T00:20:00.000-06:00

I found this test on a website. Kind of creepy how accurate it is!

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ...
8 - the AsserterThanks for taking the test !
you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT (aka "The Challenger").
"I must be strong" Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me
• Stand up for yourself... and me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• Give me space to be alone.
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT
• being independent and self-reliant
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT
• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
• putting too much pressure on myself
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often
• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• are sometimes loners
• seize control so they won't be controlled
• figure out others' weaknesses
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents
• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
• are sometimes overprotective
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Never what I want...

2010-11-30T19:44:00.001-06:00

I will never understand why men think it's ok to just disappear.... NEVER! Don't get me wrong, there are plenty I wish would disappear... but I'm talking about the ones who talk a game they are never prepared to play.

We all know the type, the ones who live in fantasy land and can't ever handle the reality of a woman being exactly what they say they are... the person who is accurately portrayed via email,IM,text and phone calls. Hell, even the same woman who sends you a current picture.. not one that is 20yrs old!

I wish those men, would just never waste my time.... or anyone's time! Those men, have no place in this earth but, in their mom's basement.... or hiding behind their married lives to a wife who doesn't understand them. They need to keep themselves in check.. The day is coming for them.. You know that day where they are going to meet that woman who really does them in.

Oh, I just hope I'm there to see that day!

An Open Letter

2010-11-16T23:28:00.002-06:00

This is something that I have posted on a site I frequent.... If you are curious... let me know!

Now that I am looking at prospective men... I have realized that maybe MY profile just isn't clear enough about what I want.... I am going to use this forum... as a way to state it plainly....

When contacting ME, please send something through and complete. I do not want to have to drag answers out of you... It's beyond boring and time consuming for ME.

If you garner MY attention, be prepared to answer questions truthfully and with honest answers... I DON'T DO BULLSHIT!

I understand that you may tremble at the first touch of ME but, please I am not a monster... nothing to be scared of!

If you say you will do something... DO IT! I don't like being kept waiting or having to constantly find out what is going on...

I DO NOT CHASE ANYONE... PERIOD!!!

If I meet you, and you decide you aren't interested... SAY SO!

I am not like most Woman, Domme, Mistress, Goddess... I will give you a voice... USE IT!

I am looking for a well rounded person... If you aren't one, please don't pretend to be so..

My time is valuable... since I don't have much to waste... DON'T WASTE IT!

I DO NOT LIKE TO BE IGNORED!

Communication, COMmunication... COMMUNICATION!

Remember, that to be with ME, requires... you to be flexible... Look up the meaning if you don't know what it means!

Attention... I like... I expect it... No EXCEPTIONS!

Service... It's required...

If you have any questions about any of these... ASK ME! Really, it's OK to do that!

So, I hope I have made myself clear... Also, I love proper spelling.. Be warned, that I do answer a lot of email via my phone... Which makes it hard to do spell check. If you are doing the same... TELL ME!

Penis Stage

2010-11-11T22:07:00.003-06:00

As you can see from the attached photo.... I will be seeing my boys.. NKTOB on this said Penis Stage for the summer 2011 tour.... Now, it is funny enough that it does totally look like a cock.. but to ME the funniest part is... It SCREAMS OF BDSM! Note, the head, tip, whatever of the said stage... It clearly shows some strategically placed needle play. Now, a friend I personally know and talk to, agree with me that one said member.. seems to SCREAM he is into BDSM! And from some of the tweets that happened the day the stage was unveiled, it was apparent that all the member's weren't aware of what it was going to look like. To me, the best part is... Most of the fans will have NO CLUE exactly what it is showing.. As my one friend and I have said... "They really aren't hiding the fact, they are fucking all of us!" LOL

I just hope that I can somehow get in early enough to get a picture of it from high up all put together...

UGH! FML

2010-11-08T21:17:00.002-06:00

Well, there are so many things going on that the only real release I get is when I blog about it! So here goes nothing in no particular order... and probably with no rhyme or reason....

NKOTB fan club now to join to get a chance at special stuff... Not gonna happen!

Concert going on sale in like 2 weeks.... I may have a sponsor if the tickets ain't an insane price.... If not, then I hold out and buy off the secondary market...

Spent some time with someone I had been talking to for a while last week... Yep! My heart wasn't in it.

I do have someone else that I should be meeting up with this week.. He is a gem, my pet, someone I want to make things work with... Again, time will tell on this one...

State of the other stuff in my life.. Yep, its shit and well, I'll deal with it anyway I can... just how life goes for me I guess...

Now, I have so many things to be happy and so many things to be sad over... I choose to just let the chips fall where they may. I am not planning for the future anymore... its one day at a time for me from here on out!

And a big shout out to my ex... Way to go with helping out like you promised.... FUCK YOU!

Death of my fangirl crush.....

2010-11-03T15:08:00.002-05:00

So, today it was announced that my boys... NKOTB will be touring this summer with The Backstreet Boys (BSB )... I have one word for it... UGH! Now, I do not like most of the crazy soccer mom's who are uber fans of NKOTB like me... I can't stand to have to see the same ones at all the shows I go to but, I have learned to live and deal with it. Now, I am going to be forced to have to deal with a whole new level of CRAZY! Not sure I can or want too... Not sure that I am even up to thinking about next summer already... One thing I do know is... I will plan to see one show.. probably not the preparty or after party... but just the concert.

Maybe it's because I can get my Donnie fix every friday night watching Blue Bloods... Maybe it's because I have other things to look forward to occupying my time... Maybe, I've just out grown all this fan girl crap I've been doing the last 2yrs.. Nah, who am I kidding.. I'll never out grow my crush on Donnie or the pursuit to get as close to him as I can... If ya ever had one of his hugs... or those sweet kisses... You too would be HOOKED!

The Holy Grail

2010-10-27T21:02:00.001-05:00

So I finally went and saw Jackass 3D today... Can I say... WHOLLY MOTHER OF GOD!!! It was way better then I could have hoped or dreamed for... It was hot... Hot... HOT! I know its not every ones... cup of tea.. but for me, *sigh* every time I watch it, even on tv... I get wet and HOT! Only downside.. Here I am home.. ALONE and not anyone.. to take this all out on!! FAWK!

I was shocked and happy for all the dick shots and nastiness that there was... Bam pissing on everyone.. and the stuff in 3D.. man, it couldn't have gotten any better! Seriously, I only almost puked.. once... a new one for me! And something is soooo SEXY about how these boys, MEN abuse themselves and then laugh at themselves.. how they set each other up to be humiliated and torchered... over and over again... One of the highlights was them trying to make Bam cry... my heart, skipped a beat..

Now, I just have to fina a man who can appreciate what Jackass really has to offer and understand just how and what it means to ME!

Sooo

2010-10-12T23:46:00.001-05:00

Today started out a great day... and somehow just kept getting better.....

Work was steady.. I actually got to shave down an entire dog today on my own... My Boss said I did a great job and joked I was ready to go on to school today! LOL I know that I'm not but, it's nice to see she gets I'm serious about this and also taking it very seriously...

I sent the man I am considering an email about the blog post I did about him... He was extremely pleased that I took time to write about him and that I am already pleased with him... It is such a change to have someone appreciate that I am giving them praise and not ignoring it. We have very open and honest dialog and it's very refreshing.... It gives me hope that even if this doesn't work out, there are QUALITY men out there.. D/s, vanilla or whatever capacity I am looking for.

I found out I may have a bonus day off next week.... Now not that is so great, as in I lose money when I don't work... but, its great to know I have that coming up and wondering what fun things I can plan to do with it.

I also decided since I can't seem to find anyone to go with me to see Jackass 3D at the midnight showing Thursday night, I just may go by myself. Hell, I know there will be a lot of men there... and who knows what could happen!

An Open Letter

2010-10-10T20:50:00.002-05:00

Now that I am looking at prospective men... I have realized that maybe MY profile ( I have one on some sites... ask me I'll tell you where to find them) just isn't clear enough about what I want.... I am going to use this forum... as a way to state it plainly....

1.When contacting ME, please send something thorough and complete. I do not want to have to drag answers out of you... It's beyond boring and time consuming for ME.
2.If you garner MY attention, be prepared to answer questions truthfully and with honest answers... I DON'T DO BULLSHIT!
3.I understand that you may tremble at the first touch of ME but, please I am not a monster... nothing to be scared of!
4.If you say you will do something... DO IT! I don't like being kept waiting or having to constantly find out what is going on...
5.I DO NOT CHASE ANYONE... PERIOD!!!
6.If I meet you, and you decide you aren't interested... SAY SO!
7.I am not like most Woman, Domme, Mistress, Goddess... I will give you a voice... USE IT!
8.I am looking for a well rounded person... If you aren't one, please don't pretend to be so..
9.My time is valuable... since I don't have much to waste... DON'T WASTE IT!
10.I DO NOT LIKE TO BE IGNORED!
11.Communication, COMmunication... COMMUNICATION!
12.Remember, that to be with ME, requires... you to be flexible... Look up the meaning if you don't know what it means!
13.Attention... I like... I expect it... No EXCEPTIONS!
14.Service... It's required...
15.If you have any questions about any of these... ASK ME! Really, it's ok to do that!

So, I hope I have made myself clear... Also, I love proper spelling.. Be warned, that I do answer a lot of email via my phone... Which makes it hard to do spell check. If you are doing the same... TELL ME!

Donnie and the Cigar....

2010-10-08T22:23:00.001-05:00

So, tonight on Blue Bloods, my man Donnie had a cigar in his mouth in the final scene.... and the cheesey grin of his... and that twinkle in his eyes... It was/is almost to much for me to handle!

I have a fantasy.... that I doubt I could ever get him to do for me... It involves Donnie, a Cigar, backwards hat and him enjoying the best head I have ever given...

Now, I have approached this subject with many a man vanilla or sub to fulfill this for me... as of today.. NONE HAVE! Really? Is it that hard to indulge me with one fantasy I have.. When did it become so taboo for a woman to want to give a man head while he enjoys a nice cigar and has a smile on his face... WTF am I always lingering on this damn fantasy!

True words of Wisdom....

2010-10-06T18:57:00.001-05:00

LOVE, COURAGE, TRUTH.. don't be afraid to LOVE yourself, have the COURAGE to live your life your way, and never be afraid to speak the TRUTH.

A friend of mine posted this as their status on FB. I can't even begin to think of just how much this needs to hit home with soooo many people in this world....

2 for the price of ONE!

2010-10-06T01:20:00.001-05:00

So, my man Donnie tweeted this earlier today.....

Today... Do not live in fear of your own potential! Embrace it! Be nothing less than YOUR best! Fear of our own inadequacies breeds hate!

As always it got me to thinking... Why do we all beat ourselves up over shit that isn't real? Why are we always our own worst enemy? Why is it always his tweets about fear, get me worked up?!!

Now... on to the other blog....

As I have stated, I still talk to my ex sub. Tonight, we are in the mitts of a text conversation that I can only hope he is really taking to heart. He of anyone I know needs to really hear what he is saying.. what I'm saying... and start living it.

Life is to damn short to keep up a front to please society that doesn't care one way or the other... My only wish for him is to figure it all out and find that true happiness he wants in his life... He deserves it, we all deserve it!

Ahhhh

2010-10-05T11:43:00.001-05:00

So as of today, I still need my locks changed... still need my curtains hung... still need dishes washed.... and still need a REAL QUALITY SUB!

WTF! Where are all these men of quality? I live in a big metro area that has a huge scene... but funny thing, there are way to many FAKES! I hate FAKES... HATE THEM! And I'm not talking about just sub men... I'm talking about friends and people in general. When did it become OK to be FAKE! Did I miss the memo that people want or should I say prefer to be lied to and deceived? Who raises a child to think this is how you get ahead in life? How you win friends and influence people? Just... WHO DOES THAT?

Oh, and might I add... with all the crazy hours I'm working... and going to be working very soon.. I NEED A DOG WALKER!

Brutal Honesty

2010-10-03T22:28:00.001-05:00

This week, I will be meeting up with my former male sub.... I hope he is prepared for some of my brutal honesty... We have decided to still remain friends, and as any of my close friends can tell you, they always... ALWAYS get the truth from me... whether they like it or not. He probably won't like very much what I have to say... In fact, I'm prepared that we may never speak again after that this meeting.

See, friends I have.... TRUE FRIENDS have certain boundaries that I expect to be respected.... those include.... coming over at a decent hour unless it's an emergency or something earth shattering.... they don't come over late at night to "hang out". That time is reserved for FWB, subs, or someone I am fucking... Yes, I give them a bit lee way because of the nature of the relationship... Friends, they are there for you thru thick and thin, they love you unconditionally, they respect you, they genuinely care about YOU! Now, FWB and the such.... they have a different set of rules... one of which is they are always required to come baring gifts and prepared to do some service for me... even if it is just taking out the garbage or walking my dogs. Funny, I have a man, who is a FWB/sub and the first thing he ever does is offer to walk the dogs for me... and when he is leaving... he walks them again. I have never asked him too... he just does it. Seems, he knows his place and what he is required to do. Ironic isn't it, that someone I see so casually GETS HIS ROLE! Hell, even vanilla men who I see in a casual capacity do service....

Now, as for said ex sub, he never did service... EVER! We discussed it and the one thing he was supposed to do for me, he never has because I couldn't work it into HIS schedule... Oh yeah, that schedule where he has to go be submissive for his best friend and best friends "wife".... you know cutting their grass, taking care of their dogs, pretty much whatever SHE deemed he needed to do in a very vanilla capacity... Nothing is sadder then putting yourself in a place where you have made it so you can NEVER HAVE A LIFE.... See, said ex sub doesn't get that.... He will never find happiness... that TRUE HAPPINESS he thinks he wants... because at his core, I don't think he wants it. He is happy being a martyr and only having someone he can fuck in a very vanilla capacity once or twice a month... someone who is very married who doesn't expect or want anything from him.. because that is easier then... taking a chance, putting yourself out there, maybe having to actually alter your life just a bit to spend time with someone and make some sort of a life. You would think that someone can only spend so much time and energy being the martyr.... hating themselves so much they can't imagine how someone... anyone could like them for who they truly are.... so they play a game and hide it... I've seen people like that pass through my life, its sad really because they always end up alone,bitter and so unhappy in the end

There is only one man I'd wear this for....

2010-10-02T01:09:00.002-05:00

The shirt says it all.....

I am not at all submissive by any meaning of the term but, it's funny that in wearing something like this, people would veiw me as such... also it could be seen as a statement in being owned... sadly, that will never be me... Hmmm I wonder if I should get something like this made up for a special man some day....

Surprises everywhere

2010-09-30T02:49:00.002-05:00

Tonight I talked on the phone to a man who I met via a mutual friend. We have been talking via text for a few days and tonight we finally had a nice lengthy phone conversation.... It was both good and refreshing... He gets me and that doesn't happen... NEVER HAPPENS! I am both hopeful and excited at if he will be the next chapter in my life....

Rain

2010-09-29T02:07:00.002-05:00

Here I sit knowing I have to be at work at 10am in the morning... and all I can think about is the rain outside. Rain, it never held such meaning as it now does. It has become a symbol for me as of late... a symbol I have come to cherish... a symbol I've come to need... a symbol I could one day love....

Rain

As I watch the drops fall gently on the ground...
I think about the cleansing and rebirth of my soul,
of my life,
of the love that I have inside of me that yearns to be shared.

As I watch the drops splash in the puddles...
I dream about the day my soul was set free,
the want and need I have inside of me,
the fulfillment of dreams I've yet to realize.

As I feel the rain touch my skin...
I feel the heat and warmth of my lovers touch,
the wetness that they create in places only they can touch,

We all need to remember this....

2010-09-29T02:05:00.001-05:00

Pearls of wisdom from my man Donnie!

Today... Some days it will take all you can muster to make it another moment. Whatever happens... Find a way to make it to the next moment.

I saw this and actually sighed today.... Funny how people seem to miss those moments, the special ones, the ones that get your through the bad times... I'm not talking about big moments... like the birth f a child.... your wedding day... the day you first sad I Love You to your lover...

I'm talking about the ones some people miss... like the sound of someone you care for snoring quietly next to you... how gentle they are when they touch your face... the glint in your subs eyes when you are mid play and you command they look you in the eye... Those are the moments that mean the most to me, those special moments that only two people can share...

Control

2010-09-29T01:56:00.002-05:00

My man Donnie tweeted this out to the masses this morning...

Today- if you try to control the things in life that you can't control, you will lose control of the one thing in life you can control- YOU!

As his tweets often do, this brought to mind me thinking....

What exactly is the control one has over themselves?

Now, I know that in a D/s, M/s relationship, that each person is exerting control in their actions or reactions or the fact that they have put themselves in that situation at all. I'm talking about the things you can't control.. like caring about someone.. you know that point where you loose control and get all silly goofy in love with someone. We've all done it.. Hell for some of us it worked out and we have never been happier and are still that way... Maybe as I'm getting older and wiser, I'm realizing that kind of control lose just isn't for me. I don't know that I want to ever be that kind of silly hearted fool for someone to be able to crush at their whim.... to be able to take and have the upper hand...

I prefer the upper hand... I prefer to control my emotions or how I feel about someone... I prefer to control when or if I ever let someone know I really do care for them... I don't loose that kind of control anymore... Sadly, I don't know if I have ever lost that kind of control... I have never been viewed as the silly all in love school girl and, lets be honest here, I don't ever want to be...

Life changes...

2010-09-29T01:32:00.003-05:00

So a quick update... No baby, career change, and now going through a divorce! Yep, a lot has been happening in my world.... I've also been a bad blogger and posting somewhere else, I plan to transfer some, not all of the posts from the other site little by little..

What really matters....

2010-09-29T01:23:00.000-05:00

Having a text convo with my good friend and it hit me... Something that seems to be lost on so many people in the world.... With all the changes I have been going thru this last 18 months, what it is that really matters in this world...

I was married to a man who thought that what mattered were things... possessions... that was something we could never agree on. I have always known what matters and what doesn't.....

Now, that I am embarking on life again as a single woman, it appalls me that so many people... and men at that, have no clue about what really matters in this world. They play games, create drama and basically act like a bunch of spoiled over privileged children. They think that submission is something you can turn on and off at whim.... they think that any Domme or woman for that matter who is truly worth anything, will just put up with their shit. They think they are the only cock in town.... they think that we should all thank our lucky stars to have them.... Truth be told, they aren't... they have no value in this world or any world to any woman of quality... Because, lets be honest here, what woman... REAL WOMAN... wants some man who is full of shit... who can't stand behind their word... who thinks playing games and being less then a man is worth having... who wants a man who is so broken he has no idea how to even... BE A MAN!

I want a man, submissive or not who understands whats really important in life... One who understand that possessions and stuff is just that... STUFF

I want someone... ANYONE who gets that its the connections, the REAL CONNECTIONS you make with other people that matter most in this world... That someday, a day that none of us will know, we won't be here any longer to share the gift of ourselves with others.... Need it be the gift of being a real true friend, a lover, a confidant... or the gift of submission....

Lollapalooza 2009 Update

2009-08-14T14:09:00.002-05:00

So Wayne and I went all 3 days to the city for this event. It was the first time I have ever done something of this magnitude and expected the worst. I was so happy when it turned out AWESOME!! In Fact we have both decided to go again next year! I took a lot of pictures that are up on my Flickr account www.flickr.com/photos/aprilknob/. Feel free to go and look and enjoy! My favorites of the weekend were Depeche Mode and Jane's Addiction. I also loved that Perry Farrell had his own stage set up that played club jams non stop all 3 days. I love that music and on Saturday, we stayed in one spot and listed to it thump a thumpa for hours. I know Wayne wasn't digging it but I love that he let me indulge.

Lollapalooza 2009

2009-08-07T11:52:00.003-05:00

I am getting ready to leave for day one of my 3 day Lollapalooza adventure. If you are on Twitter, I will be live updating..follow me Aprilknob. I will also be doing some stories and pictures for the www.windycitizen.com under thier Lollapalooza 2009 blog. Cross your fingers for me that some of my stuff gets picked!

MIA no more!

2009-08-07T11:49:00.004-05:00

So, as you can see, I have been MIA for some time. I plan on updating all of my travels and NKOTB experiences from the last year.... 11 concerts accross 7 states and countless meet and greets, after parties, bad hotel rooms, and friendship and bonding that took place. Stop back and I hope you enjoy what I share. I have A LOT of stories!!

Quest to meet the New Kids!

2008-08-08T14:37:00.003-05:00

So, I have made a friend through my endless obsession with the NKOTB!! Mary is trying in vain to meet them and have a few minutes or "Real Time" with them. Hey, check out her blog and give her some love!!

campaigntomeetthenewkids.blogspot.com

On a personal note, I will be going to see NKOTB 3 times total so far myself..

10/4 with Beth 23rd row (Chicago)
10/24 by myself in a 5*VIP seat and getting to meet them back stage (Chicago)
11/10 with my new BFF Mindy in St. Louis 5*VIP again.

I can't wait for my Donnie Face Time!!

Baby Project Update!

2008-06-28T00:27:00.002-05:00

So just a quick update. Wayne and I went to meet with another doctor today. At this point, I will have to go through some more testing and we should be gettting the assistance we are seeking come this fall. So from here on out...any prayers, baby dust...anything will be appreciated!! I hope that the next update you get is there is a little one on the way!

The HULK!

2008-06-22T15:28:00.002-05:00

Ok, so we went to see this on thursday night. I LOVED IT!!! It was really great and I loved how it felt so new and fresh. I'm not sure how much Marvel has been involved lately with their comic book heros movies....but if its because of them the difference...keep it coming!! Edward Norton...What can I say! One bit of hope...if they plan on doing an avengers movie...it better be the players who are launching all these huge movies. I mean now to think of someone other then Mr. Norton or RDJ playing the parts they have set...makes me worried!!

Also, saw Kung Fu Panda...very cute. Without Jack Black thou, it would have been horrible.

Friday night, went to see the Doobie Brothers and Chicago..OMG!!! That is by far the best I have seen Chicago play in years. And all the guys were there to boot! The Doobies rocked the house. It was a perfect pairing of bands.

OMG! It's summer movie time!

2008-06-01T13:15:00.004-05:00

So I have two reviews for you on two big summer movies...let's get started!

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull - If you are and Indian Jones fan, then you will love this movie. If was everything the older movies are and more. I was way happy with it. Only thing that was really a stretch was the water fall scene.

Sex and the City - LOVED IT! I am a big fan of the show, so I couldn't miss going opening night. It was allot of fun and didn't disappoint. One downside...crappy previews!

Last night we went out to dinner with a group of friends. The food was good but the company was much better. A big THANK YOU goes out to Randy and Tracey! You guys are the best and really shouldn't have been so generous. One thing last night made me realize is that I am so lucky to have such good friends. The main core that I do things with now were once just Wayne's' friends. I am so glad that now I am happy to call them mine as well. I wouldn't trade them for the world. It's interesting how people in your life change when you find a great person to spend your life with. I used to spend so much time staying in contact with people who I thought were my friends and then when I was getting married, I realized that they were who I always thought they were. Also, with Wayne being sober it can be a strain on people who just don't understand why he doesn't want to do certain things or go certain places. He is really a home body and doesn't venture off his path much. I wonder allot how different my life would have been had we not met. I know that I couldn't have kept up the pace I was living. I'd hate to think of being the age I am now and still going to bars and clubs every night.

Baby project update

2008-05-21T23:43:00.003-05:00

So just a short note...We've been going through some testing and have found out some very good news. No baby yet but, the tests so far show we can continue to proceed. When we know more, I'll be sure to update again. At this point we are going to have to see another doctor. Keep your fingers crossed!!!

Poll for the Ladies!

2008-05-16T11:33:00.005-05:00

I am posting a poll to see which one is your favorite. It will be interesting to see what everyone thinks.... ENJOY!!

I am Ironman!

2008-05-16T11:07:00.006-05:00

So you guessed it, we went and saw Ironman. We went on opening weekend but, I have just been slow in posting. OH MY! Robert Downey Jr is....WAY HOT!! Seeing how good he looked was way worth the price of the tickets! The movie itself was very entertaining and it gives me high hopes for the Hulk movie. There has been allot going on...

Went and saw Ministry on 5/8 which was the first of the last shows they are ever playing. All I can say was it was a HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT! I felt so bad for Wayne since he is a huge fan. They played like none of his favorites...and not even psalm 69 which we sampled as the song we walked into at our wedding!

Also, got tickets for the New Kids on the Block concert. I'll be going with my sister in law Beth. It's funny how neither of us thought it would be a big deal but, turns out everyone is mad we didn't ask them to go. Also, I'm forsaking my 20 yr high school reunion to go see them....I CAN'T WAIT!! Donnie Walberg is so fine...It's funny I thought he was fine back then and still do! I think we are sitting like 23rd row so I will have a good shot as watching him do what he does best..thrusting on the stage live! YAHOOO!!

My Birthday!

2008-04-19T22:27:00.008-05:00

UGH! So this past week, I turned 38. Of all of my birthdays, this has been the hardest one yet. I never imagined that turning 38 would be so hard. I blew by 30 like it was nothing. I did some fun things. Wednesday, went out to dinner with my brother, the GF, Maggie and Wayne. I took my birthday off and spent the day watching Maggie and then went out to Howl at the Moon to drink my night away with the GF. (More on that later). Got Jackass 2.5 on DVD!!! YAHOOOO!! I love those guys...They ROCK!!! Then on Friday, Wayne and I baby sat Maggie during the evening. It was fun. Today, went to lunch with my family. Tonight, we went to dinner at a new place in Oak Brook called the Reel Club. The food was excellent and they had great service. It's been along time since I have had a great experience like that out at a restaurant. I can't wait to go back there again!

So, I know it sounds bad to say I had a bad birthday. I really am not selfish but, this has been really a bad one. For whatever reason, I am now considered OLD! When did that happen....I mean it's 50 the new 30? So like I'm not even 40 yet and it seems like its all down hill. Thursdays at Howl at the Moon Cougar night....any woman over 35 got in for free by a certain time. Wholly Crap...That is now what I would be considered if I was single and dating a younger guy. That is so not right. I mean I'm married but not dead. I still see plenty of guys who I know are young who I think are HOT! That really bugs me that now there is a label for older woman liking younger men. I mean it's not like bars have "Creepy old Men Night!". The GF said its just that I have finally realized that life is changing around me and I'm not part of what is Hip and Young anymore. Which I'm OK with....trust me, I don't want to be 21 again. I guess its just a culmination of allot of stuff happening or not happening this year. Let us list just a few highlights....20 yr high school reunion, Wayne having to start a whole new work chapter in his life, my work doing ll these changes that at this point are not directly effecting me, and of course the "baby project" as I will refer to it. Just one of these things would be a big deal but,some of this is in the next few months.

I guess I will just have to look forward to some movies and concerts that I have coming up!

Movie time and the Matt Dahl Show!

2008-04-05T21:22:00.004-05:00

So two movies to comment on really quickly...

The Bank Job. A very good film that we went to see unexpectedly. It was a great movie and very entertaining. If you get a chance to see it, I would put it on your list.

The Ruins. TERRIBLE! Not much else to say....Oh Wait! It did have some good previews!

Good news for any Matt Dahl Show fans...Matt and Brendan will be on B96 in Chicago on Sunday 4/6/08 from 7am until 10am. I think it is a test run to possibly get them a show back on the air. I'm a big fan and listen to their pod cast every day and used to listen to them every night before WCKG went off the air.

Good Luck Guys!

As posted on www.mattdahl.com today!

Hey everyone. You may have noticed, hopefully you did, that there was no show or podcast Friday. We apologize for this serious lapse in your quality entertainment, but Brendan and I were tending to some other duties.

You see, this Sunday, April 6, we are going to be doing a live show on The Killer Bee, B96. Yes, that's right. 7-10am, this Sunday. Join us as we inevitably 'crank out the hits', and hopefully take a major step towards getting our show back on the airwaves. Hope you can join us!

Posted by Matt Dahl on April 5, 2008 12:55 PM

10,000 B.C.

2008-03-16T12:11:00.003-05:00

So we checked this movie out last weekend and I am now just getting around to talking about it. I really liked the movie and it was visually pleasing. The effects with the Stone Aged animals was awesome! One can only imagine that is how they once looked when they walked this planet. It stars no one with any big name which is perfect. The story is pretty predictable boy meets girl, they fall in love, then boy needs to go on a quest to rescue girl. I personally like to sometimes go to a movie that is not going to make me think to hard but, will keep me entertained.

I am also changing how I do my movie list. I figure since it is ever changing and growing, that once I see a movie and comment on it, I will remove it from my list.

The Incredible Hulk Trailer 2008

2008-03-14T18:41:00.002-05:00

So as like any Marvel Comic made into a movie....I can hardly wait to see this! It looks way better then the Ang Lee attempt a few years ago. Plus it has Ed Norton to boot...Enjoy!

Movies,Movies...and more Movies!

2008-03-02T18:24:00.005-06:00

Maybe I should have titled this blog....My adventures in Movie watching! Seriously, we go to the show probably more then the average person and then rent stuff as soon as it comes out. Usually, we rent stuff we either missed at the show or didn't think was worth spending the money to see at the show.

Besides what I have already listed as movies seen this week. I am going to add a few more...lets get to it!

American Gangster...Much better then I thought it was going to be. A long but very entertaining movie. I can say that I didn't love how the ending played out. I think they made the Denzil Washington character look like a rat.

Rendition...Again another good movie. If you like movies about the political side of the war on terrorism. I love how all these movies coming out recently make the US looks like a bunch of asses. BIG SURPRISE THERE! I mean I know we like to act like we don't do shady things but, who really truly believes we do everything on the up and up.

Margot at the Wedding....A pleasant movie about relationships between sisters. It stars Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jack Black. Not at all the type of movie you would expect Jack Black to be in but I did like his performance. It is a good little movie that I think never really had a chance at the box office.

Oh and on my plane rides last week I was able to that Dustin Hoffman movie about the toy store....TERRIBLE! Also got to see Martian Child...another one I wouldn't waste my time seeing.

Now on Saturday, Wayne picked out going to see Semi Pro. He usually doesn't like seeing comedies at the theater but, thought he would give it one last try. I thought the movie had some funny parts and was laughing out loud. He of course hated it and was mad afterwards. If you like Will Ferrel movies, then you will like this one. It's not Old School but it is funny enough to spend the time to see.

So after the movie, we met up with my brother, sis in law and baby Maggie for dinner. I haven't seen her in like 2 weeks. What a difference it makes. She is like reading actual words. I am so nervous for them. She isn't even 2 yet! I think we are all in for a rude awakening very soon. She also knows a bunch of new words but the best one she said was April! YIPPPEEEE! I finally heard her say my name. OK, we all know I'm a dork but I had tears in my eyes,

Movie Update!

2008-02-28T20:29:00.006-06:00

Ok so I was off of work on 2/25 and Wayne and I made the most of it and went to see 2 movies. One was great the other sucked. I guess that happens sometimes...doesn't it!

Vantage Point...I'd say, save your money until it is on TV for free. It was too confusing and not that entertaining. Sometimes Wayne and I are split on our views of movies (He thinks I like allot of crap)but, on this one we agree. I'm actually mad we spent our money on it. Thankfully, we went to a matinee!

Jumper...LOVED IT! Hayden Christensen(young Darth Vadar)stars and does very well carrying this movie. It was very fun and entertaining. The story was good and made you wish you could be a Jumper yourself. How fun life would be if you could really do that! Of course having something (or someone) to look at that is easy on the eyes helps too!

We then came home and watched We Are The Night. This movie is about the Russian mod in New York City. It stars Mark Walberg, Joaquin Phoenix, and Robert Duvall. The movie was really good. It is based on a true events that took place in the late 1970's early 1980's. Well worth the rental fee. I remember not hearing much about this movie when it was out...which wasn't for very long.

So, there you go a quick update. Once I get my pictures together from my Vegas trip, I'll be sure to post something about it. I will say it was allot of fun and I enjoyed my stay with Shahzan and her family.

Vegas..Baby!

2008-02-20T18:31:00.004-06:00

So this is day two that I am spending in Vegas for work. Tomorrow ends my work stay and then I will be staying with a friend untill Sunday. So far, I have gambled a bit and lost, stayed out untill 2:30 am (Vegas time) and had a lot of fun and met some nice people who work for the same company as I do who work out of the California office. Tonight we have a cocktail reception where I will get to meet some of our customers. For a 3 day business trip, it seems to invlove alot of wineing and dining! Either way, it is nice to be away for a few days. I do already miss Kodaik and my husband but, I will see them on Sunday night when I get home.
More details to follow...

There Will Be Blood.

2008-02-10T19:33:00.000-06:00

I like seeing how industries started and just how ruthless the people were who actually helped to make this country what it is or was today. I know that most people like to believe that everything was done all nice and pretty and without break laws or compromising ones values. Of course, anyone knows if you truly want to be someone of real wealth or importance, you will need to compromise yourself and your values to attain this. If you ever read anything about American History...no, not just what you learned in school. You will see that most people were cruel and ruthless when it came to getting what they wanted and for the betterment of this nation. I for one can say that I'm happy those men and woman all those years ago did what they did!

Snow again!

2008-02-06T20:55:00.000-06:00

So it seems like a typical February for the Chicagoland area. Snow, snow and huge pot holes that are sucking in cars right off the roads! I swear, it is all you can do to miss them. In fact there have been a few I didn't miss and I feel lucky that I didn't flatten a tire. It always surprises me that people are shocked that there is a snow storm or we are getting so much snow. Doesn't this happen most February's in this area? Either way, I love the snow. It is so pretty outside right now. Of course my drive home from work wasn't so pretty but, I did get out 5 hours early so I had plenty of time to get home safe and sound. Luckily with my job and where I work, we have that option. Also, if the weather is really bad in the morning, I have the option of working from home. One of the many perks of having a lap top and high speed connection!

UGH! I hate Computers!!

2008-02-03T11:06:00.000-06:00

So, I finally got my work laptop back and all up and running Wednesday 1/30/08...by Saturday 2/2/08 it was not working at all! So at work, we are in the middle of month end and I will have to again spend countless hours on the phone and doing nothing because again, I have no working computer. YIPPEEE!!

So on to better and more fun news....I will be going to Veags for the WPMA Convention 2/19 - 2/21. Then I am going to stay untill Sunday and hang out with my friend Shazhan who moved out there a few years ago and I haven't seen since she moved. I am very excited to get to see her and meet her son.

So, the moral of this story...even though I might be having a rough time of it at work with technology, I will get to go on a business trip to Vegas!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

P.S. If anyone would like me to gamble for them out there, let me know and I'll give you my address to send the check too!

Time for a Serious Ramble!

2008-01-24T20:30:00.000-06:00

So it's been a few days since I posted anything and there is allot going on, so lets get to it!

First, my computer has not been working properly at work so I have been going in and spending the last 3 days doing nothing all day. It makes for a boring 9hr day, let me tell you!! I did a software upgrade that was pushed to me and needless to say, it wiped out the program. So now I have no SAP application at all on my work computer and I NEED THAT TO DO MY JOB! The tech guys have tried everything and still nothing. I'm screwed to say the least!

So most people know my husband will be losing his job by June of 2008. His plant is closing and their is nothing he can do about it. So we have just, begun the process of him looking for a job and this will be extremely trying on our relationship... to say the least.

Then I am at work the other day, and I see splashed across the plasma screen that Heath Ledger died. Now that was one celebrity who's death came as a shock. I still am not sure how to process his death. It just seems so random and unfortunate for the acting world. We were looking forward to his up coming performance as the Joker in the Dark Knight. And I loved his performance in Brokeback Mountain and many other films. What a tragic loss of a promising young talent. It made me feel bad for his 2yr old daughter. How sad to think she will grow up and never have really had the chance to know her father.

So it seems like this time of the year, everyone is always surprised when it gets cold. Don't get me wrong, I don't love it either but, if I had to choose between 100 and humid, I'll take a few days of below zero any day! I don't think Kodiak or Maggie feel like I do!

So that is it for now. C-YA

Congrats...Amy and Tim!

2008-01-20T15:06:00.000-06:00

So last night we went to a wedding for two people I work with, Amy and Tim. It was a very nice reception. Small compared to the ones I normally go to but, it was just perfect. The food was good and the drinks were even better! It was odd for me to be at a wedding and have more then half the people there be people I work with and see on a regular basis. I guess that is how it goes when you marry someone you work with. I wish them nothing but the best for a long an happy life together!

Cloverfield and other random reviews!

2008-01-19T12:13:00.001-06:00

So we went last night to see the new movie...Cloverfield. Be warned this movie is only 75 minutes long and was partnered with 15 minutes of previews. I should have known better once I heard that it was shot with one camera in the same way that the Blair Witch Project was. ( A movie I have never watched) The story was good and the monster was very realistic. If you get motion sickness, I'd suggest you not go to the big screen to see it!

Well, I did say I would get back to you about some of the movies we had seen recently. Here you go!

Micheal Clayton...LOVED IT! It was a great story and it kept you interested in the characters and what was going on in the movie. Of course, having George Clooney help make it easier on the eyes! I know this one is getting Oscar Buzz and it going to be re-released in the theaters again. I suggest you check it out if you have the chance on the big screen!

Sweeney Todd...LOVED IT! If you like Tim Burton movies, then you will love this one. Its dark and dreary and Johnny Depp sings!

Juno...LOVED IT! I know that allot of people think its not realistic but, I like to think that teenagers now a days are capable of being very adult about making choices in their life. And who hasn't ever been irresponsible about sex! Teenagers can be very wise about some things but, just not think about others. I think it goes back to the thinking, "it won't happen to me".

No Country For Old Men...It was OK. Maybe I don't get the Cohen brothers movies. I have never seen Fargo nor have I cared too. It was a good movie with a good story. Well worth the $3.00 a ticket we paid to see it!

OK, so that is where we will leave it for now with the movies reviews. I think I am forgetting some but, I'll check with Wayne when he gets home.

The weather here is bitter cold and he went out to get some warm socks and a ski mask since he is going to the Green Bay Packers/New york Giants game tomorrow night in Green Bay, WI. God Love him that he is such a dedicated football fan. Here is the weather forecast for tomorrow:
6pm (6:30pm CST kick off time)
4°F Feels Like-9°F
9pm
2°F Feels Like-10°F
Flurries

I just hope that Wayne and Randy are dressed plenty warm!
Go Packers...I think!!

Jackass World

2008-01-17T21:48:00.001-06:00

OK so I know that watching Jackass is a guy thing but I love those shows! So recently they launched a website called Jackassworld.com. I found the site when I was looking around for a Jackass movie site. They were introducing it with the launch of Jackass 2.5. I didn't even know there was a Jackass 2.5! Of course I watched it and as far as Jackass stuff goes, it was pretty bad...and I LOVED IT!!
Anyhow, I digress. This site is like a My Space type of deal and seems to be for the Jackass fan. So of course, I signed up. Its great fun to know that you are part of something that is devoted to people who love something as much as you do. Of course if they start one for the Wild Boys...I'll sign up for that too!

http://www.jackassworld.com/

American Idol!

2008-01-16T20:36:00.001-06:00

Man, this is to much. Sometimes I think that these bad auditions are better then the whole rest of the season. What is with this guy tonight who "came to rock out"! There was nothing "rock" about him except the "rocks" in his head! UGH Shoot me now!

Comments...and other junk!

2008-01-15T13:48:00.001-06:00

So, I just got my first comment back from one of my friends who reads my blog. I guess I will have to be sure to USE SPELL CHECK! Of course, anyone who knows me, knows I am the worst speller! Also, I think I will have to work on better organizing my thoughts. These are going to be two big things I'll have to work on if anyone wants to be able to make any sense about what I am talking about. I never realized that I process things in my head the way they came out once I typed them. WOW! I never realized that I am always thinking that far ahead and in that random of a way. How does anyone ever understand what I am talking about?

Also this weekend, I finally broke down and joined My Space. I thought I might as well since I go on there a lot to read other peoples stuff and this way, I could set it so their new blog entries will come right to me. I am in no way going to use it to do a blog like this. It will be more for my lurking pleasure and to connect to new people and different networking. Someone I worked with told me I should set it to private so an employer couldn't see my personal stuff. Well, first off, I understand that anything I choose to put on the web is never private. Second, I know I'll be old school about things and never share everything. I think that if used right, this kind of media could be very enjoyable in a persons life. It is a great way to connect to the bigger world around you and see how people really think!

Sunday with Maggie!

2008-01-13T15:01:00.000-06:00

So my brother came over today and brought my niece Maggie with him. She is to darn cute! While she was running around and playing with her cousin Kodiak, I got the chance to order my new camera. I'm so excited to get it. Once I do I'll fill you in on all the details. So, now we are trying to get Maggie to go back to sleep. She was sound asleep on Kodiak's big pillow and then she moved off of it and wont settle back down. She is so sleepy and she wont just let it take her over. So they have decided to leave and hopefully she will fall back to sleep in the car ride home.

It was cute watching her run around with the dog. She plays a mean game of fetch! She also likes to stop and sing her ABC's with her fridge juke box. I love when they just come over like that and stay for a few hours. It gives me a chance to spend time with her and let her just run around and play. I know she won't be this small forever, so I have to enjoy it while I can!

So, last night we were watching A Mighty Heart. I guess it just wasn't my cup of tea. Now I am happy we did not see it at the show.

The Orphanage

2008-01-13T00:51:00.000-06:00

So this afternoon, Wayne and I went to see The Orphanage. I don't even know where to begin. First, we got to see the trailer for the new Hellboy movie. If looks totally kick. I think that this summer is going to shape up to be a barn burner for us and movies. I can hardly wait!

Back to the movie today. It is in Spainish with subtitles. When we first started going to movies that are set up this way, I thought it would be distracting but, it is actually not at all. I find I am able to adjust quickly. This movies is by far worth going to see. It is so beautifully shot and the photography is awesome. This is a very moving picture and it sucks you in right away. I love movies like that. I never even noticed the time go by. Sometimes, time watching creeps into my movie experience. I can't say enough great things about this movie. It takes place in a large old home that was used as an orphanage years ago and a former resident and here family buy the place and move in. Thier son starts to make some new imaginary friends. And that is where I will stop! I can't give to many details because it will give away the story. I am going to include a link to the website. Check it out yourself! http://www.theorphanagemovie.com/

I'll post more about some of the other movies we have seen recently. There have been alot of movies recently we have taken in and I'll try and get you up to date.

Well that's all for now. Going to go and watch a movie here.. A Mighty Heart.

C-Ya!